Dear visitor... or should I say, intruder.
This server is private. Like your ex's password. It's not for you.
Your data has been recorded, catalogued, and filed under “suspicious people”.
Our best agents are already on their way. They like coffee. They'll be here soon.
SYSTEM > OPERATIONAL
INTRUDER > DETECTED
IP > LOGGING...
LOCATION > TRIANGULATING...
NEARBY CAFE > LOCATING AGENTS...
ACTION > WE RECOMMEND CLOSING THIS TAB
$